i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
