we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
