Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Randomize
