It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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