I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
