There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
