i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
