Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
they need to just BURY HIM!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
