what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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