I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
