So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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