well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
