would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
