You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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