i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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