did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Did you just see the Batmobile???
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
