all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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