if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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