I'm lost and stupid without you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
