All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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