I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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