So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
