guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
