do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize