Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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