My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
