So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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