i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
