he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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