So drunk its hurt
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
