my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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