I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
