I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
