So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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