i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
