K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize