R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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