The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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