Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
