we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize