it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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