I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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