And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
