today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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