ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
