you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
