Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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