i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize