Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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