i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
