no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
