you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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