Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
