Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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