Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
