She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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