Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
