she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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