Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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