you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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