Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
BRING THE BAGELS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
