He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
