So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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