My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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