I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So squirting runs in the family.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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