I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
