we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
