youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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